


break your plans

by adreamaloud, daneorange (adreamaloud)



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adreamaloud/pseuds/adreamaloud, https://archiveofourown.org/users/adreamaloud/pseuds/daneorange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth and Alison go on a trip once a year, every year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	break your plans

Alison doesn't like it, but she goes because Beth does -- she says the air does wonders to her lungs. And besides, their minds could use some quiet. 

Alison remembers how Beth had smiled, that time they first talked about it. They were at the firing range when Beth brought it up. "Ever thought of camping?"

"Camping?" Alison had repeated, trying to keep her voice level while squinting at her target. "Not really my activity." She fired her shot then and missed, albeit narrowly, and it was then that Beth started laughing. " _What?_ "

"Nothing," said Beth, stepping right into the space beside Alison and lining up her shot. "I thought I'd ask you to come with."

" _Come with?"_ Alison remembers her disbelief starkly. "Do I look like I'm built for the wild?"

"Come on, Allie -- it'd be fun."

 _Fun._ The past couple of years they'd been up and down the woods, Alison's still waiting for the _actual_ fun.

"You ready?"

Alison looks at Beth now -- hat, gun and tent ready, grinning as she gripped the steering wheel. "Your hat is ridiculous," she tells Beth, tugging at the side flaps.

"I have one for you inside my backpack," Beth says.

Alison's eyes widen -- it's a mix of terror and surprise, the affection in Beth's tone throwing her completely. "Don't you dare," she just says, taking a moment to collect herself and brush it off.

Beth laughs, driving on. It's one of the few times when she actually manages to, and Alison thinks it's actually among the trip's perks -- hearing Beth laugh. It's what drags her out here, every year. Kind of like a vacuum, this trip -- they get to forget a handful of things: Husbands, work, chasing after girls they barely know but share a face with--

 _Remember rule number one,_ Alison reminds herself. _No talk about clones._

*

It's a two-hour drive to the start of the trail, and for this trip, it's Beth's turn to take care of the music. "I still don't know why I even get a turn," Beth complains, plugging her iPod in. For this trip, she'd chosen classic Carpenters -- an obvious shout-out to Alison, of course. "I mean, you never get a turn to drive."

"Remember the last time I drove?" Alison reminds her. That time, Alison made a wrong turn and they promptly lost two additional hours just getting lost.

"Which is why you should always take care of the music--I _always_ take care of the navigation."

"You _complained_ about the Celine Dion once--"

"Because we didn't _need_ five remixes of My Heart Will Go On!"

Alison pauses, breathing in. Beth never wins at these conversations -- which is why Alison likes keep having them. "And _that_ is why you get a turn," she says, smiling.

Beth makes a small frustrated noise that's actually a half-laugh, half-groan. "Why am I even having this conversation with you?"

"Because you're trying to check if you could win this time?"

Beth laughs -- this time, the sound lasts for much longer, and it echoes inside her car for a while. _There's the true music,_ Alison just thinks, staring at the road ahead.

*

It's the hike that kills Alison -- apparently, no amount of year-round Zumba could ever stretch her lungs enough for it.

"You all right?" asks Beth at a rest stop, handing Alison a bottle of water. There's a thin sheen of sweat on Beth's forehead, but apart from that, there is hardly any sign of hardship anywhere on Beth's body.

"I'm fine," Alison says, twisting the cap open and drinking. The sun is warm and up at this hour, she could feel as much from what manages to get through the foliage. Around them, the breeze blows past coolly. Truth be told, Alison kind of likes it.

"We could keep going then?"

Alison takes a moment to look at Beth -- her face red from sun and exertion _. Like looking in a mirror_ , she thinks, barely catching herself reaching out to touch.

"Allie."

Alison blinks. "Yeah," she says, running her hand through her hair instead. "Let's keep going."

When they reach the camp grounds an hour and fifteen minutes later, Beth lets out a long, low whistle. The spot that Beth always goes for has a gorgeous view of a lake.

"Wow," Beth whispers, letting her pack drop from her shoulders. "It never gets old, does it ever, Allie?"

Alison nods, humming softly in agreement. She's seen this place before, sure, but every year it still stuns her. She likes leaving Beth alone at this point, if only  to let her marvel at the sight in private, but this time Beth turns to her with a slight frown.

"Where are you going? Don't you like the view?"

Alison blinks. Right now, she's looking at Beth against a backdrop of green trees and sparkling blue waters. "Of course I like the view, Beth," she manages, clearing her throat. "That isn't even a valid question."

Beth smiles. "Okay," she says, turning back to the lake. "Just checking."

*

Together, they pitch their tent; after a couple of trips, Alison gets the hang of it, though Beth looks like she could do it with one hand for the same amount of time. Actually, Alison thinks Beth could manage _alone_ on these trips -- that all Alison has been doing all this time is just slow her down.

"Hey, Alison," says Beth, standing up and dusting her hands. "Ready to go hunting?"

Alison doesn't like it that much either, but she says yes anyway, just to see how Beth's face lights up this time around. "Fine," she sighs, watching Beth collect their guns.

Beth puts on her hat last. "You sure you don't want to wear yours?" she asks Alison, grinning as she hands over Alison's gun. Alison makes a face in protest. "Okay. Your loss."

"I could knit us better headgear," says Alison on the way, adjusting her rifle on her shoulder. The length of the firearm still unnerves her; she never shoots anything on these trips, but she lugs hers along anyway, if it makes Beth feel better.

"Maybe you should for next time," Beth agrees, choosing her hiding spot. Alison settles right across Beth, carefully lowering her gun. "You have never shot at anything ever," notes Beth. "Am I that bad a teacher?"

"My horrible aim has got nothing to do with your teaching skills," Alison says as much.  "Anyway, it would only cramp your style."

"Hmm," Beth just says, bracing herself against the tree and squinting at her first target. Alison stares at her, flinching only when the shot finally rings out.

_Bang._

"Got 'em," Beth murmurs, turning to Alison finally, the smile on her face wide and childlike.

*

It rains on the way back.

"Shit," says Alison, looking up. The sky is dark and heavy; why hadn't she thought about bringing a hooded jacket?

"Here," Beth says, rushing to Alison's side and fitting the ridiculous hat on Alison's head. "I told you it'd be useful."

Alison thinks about complaining, but ultimately decides against it, biting down on her lower lip. "Thanks," she says instead.

Beth removes her jacket and holds it above them both. "Come closer," she says, and Alison steps into  the warmth just as the rain pours harder.

 _Talk about luck,_ Alison thinks, and Beth lowers her elbow upon Alison's shoulder, gathering her closer as they walk.

"There's mud on my shoe," Alison grumbles.

Beth laughs, stopping to kick at a puddle playfully. Alison lets out a shriek. "Almost there, Allie," she coos into Alison's ear.

When Alison feels herself shivering, she just thinks, _It's the rain._

*

Soon after dinner, they retreat into their tent and settle into their sleeping bags. Rain has stopped falling, and around them the night is dark and eerily quiet, but with Beth and a gun inside this tent, Alison feels safer than when she is in bed with Donnie, inside a house with a lock.

"You should bring the kids sometime," Beth says, her voice already sleepy. Alison has her eyes open, but in the pitch dark, she could not make out the features of Beth's face.

"Of course not," Alison whispers back. "They'd probably be bitten by bugs everywhere. It'd be a disaster."

Beth chuckles softly, the sound a low, sexy rumble. Alison feels something twitch deep in her gut. "Oh come on, Alison," she says. "The great outdoors. The kids love it."

"The great outdoors is _itchy_ \--"

"--Yet you come every year when I ask."

"Of course I would, you're my--" Alison finds herself pausing at that. They share a face, and perhaps a handful of DNA patterns, or whatever -- it isn't her place to understand, it's Cosima's -- but up to now, she has yet to find the suitable term for their relationship. _Are you my sister? Are you me?_

_Am I you?_

"Complete your sentences, Alison."

Alison clears her throat , opening her eyes wider. They've begun adjusting to the dark, and already she can see the edges of Beth's face across her, the tell-tale dip of a dimple. _A smile,_ she thinks, burrowing deeper into her blanket. "Of course, I _would_ ," she says, emphasizing the end of that sentiment. "But perhaps my kids won't. And that's final."

"Not even when _Auntie Beth_ asks them to come, too?" counters Beth, her voice so _sweet_ it pushes little daggers into Alison's chest.

"Fine," she sighs, rolling her eyes in the dark. "Maybe when they're much older."

"Well, we can wait, can we?"

Alison tries to smile. Beth really comes up here to forget -- and boy, does she forget well. _We can wait._ Alison screws her eyes shut at that. _Just one of the many lies tonight._ They both know how they're running out of it. They both know something's coming -- and the worst part is that this is all they know.

 _Stop. Rule number one._ Alison tries to breathe.

"Allie?" There's worry in Beth's voice now, and Alison forces herself to exhale. _Shit._ "Are you all right?" There's a rustling sound as Beth gets up, unzipping her sleeping bag and reaching over to touch Alison's cheek. Alison flinches, a little. "Hey."

"Hey." Alison sighs. "It's nothing -- I miss the kids, that's all."

"Sorry to remind," Beth says, moving her fingers gently against the side of Alison's face, and Alison can't help but lean in closer to the touch. _Just one of the night's many lies,_ she tells herself. _It stays in the mountain, anyhow._

When Beth leans in to kiss her, Alison does not pull back. Not like this hasn't happened before; not like this mountain hasn't seen a handful of these. Alison closes her eyes -- for all its familiarity, every year something about it still strikes Alison as something _new_ : The taste of Beth's gloss, the softness there. The warmth of her mouth.

It lasts for a minute; it lasts for a lifetime.

*

The next thing Alison knows, she's waking up next to Beth's face. _Like waking up next to a mirror, only warmer,_ Alison thinks, pushing herself gently off her. Outside morning is breaking, and Alison starts thinking about coffee.

"Morning," greets Beth, not too long after, her morning voice gravelly; Alison shivers in the morning chill.

"Did you sleep well?" Alison asks back, rubbing her palms together.

Beth takes a moment to respond, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Yeah, actually," she says, looking away. _Is that a blush?_ "Best I've had in days."

It's Alison's turn to blush. "Good to know," she says, watching the kettle more intently instead.

*

They don't talk about it. True to form, like the year before, and the year before that. Instead, they spend the morning getting ready to get back to the city and drinking their coffee slowly, quietly.

"You think Cosima would like to camp sometime?" asks Beth, while loading their things back into her car. Alison gives her a look. "What? I think she could use some fresh air."

"Cosima's _busy_ ," says Alison. There's a part of her that feels riled up; she knows it isn't _rational,_ knows she doesn't _own_ Beth -- who does, right? She just happens to hang out in Alison's neck of the woods a lot. That doesn't make her--

"Wait -- you _don't_ want Cosima to join us?"

Alison makes a face. "It's not that -- it's more… _complicated_."

"It's just that the camping thing's _our_ thing, isn't it?"

"Just as the science-slash-global hunt is _your_ thing," says Alison. "Isn't it?"

Beth sighs as she finishes loading the trunk. Alison waits for her, leaning by the side of her car, staring at her nails. _It's complicated. Isn't it?_ She shakes her head, grabbing the door handle and yanking it open.

"Okay," says Beth, covering Alison's hand by the door. When Alison breathes in, there Beth is, smelling of coffee and pine and earth and _lakes_. "Our thing, yeah?"

Alison stares at her. _I am you,_ she thinks, letting herself get lost in those eyes for a split-second. "Yeah, all right," she says, nodding as she slides into the front seat.

 _Time to head home_ , she tells herself, waiting for Beth to start the engine. #

**Author's Note:**

> to sorry-tale, who has been leading me to all things awesome all these years. happy birthday.


End file.
